Fifty Shades of Never Again!

ImageAfter all the hype and the trending hash tags, I have finally succumbed to reading Fifty Shades of Grey last month. I was contemplating on whether to blog my thoughts about it because they are not very nice thoughts. Alas, I believe my opinion needs to be heard.

The story is sexy and truthfully, I think that was the only reason why I finished the book (being really honest here). It was like a train wreck that I couldn’t stop reading. There’s no denying that as a girl, I gained a huge crush on Christian Grey. He’s sexy, rich and handsome. What more could you want from a story?

A STORY! That’s what!

Take out all the badly written porn (or lemon, as the fanfiction community would call it) and you’ll have nothing. There’s no substance. It’s about one problem. The fact that Christian Grey has a BDSM mania and Anastasia Steele has a “virginal” persona. The character depth is nonexistent. The language used is unimaginative.

Example?

“I should be studying for my final exams, which are next week, yet here I am trying to brush my hair into submission. I must not sleep with it wet. I must not sleep with it wet. Reciting this mantra several times, I attempt, once more, to bring it under control with the brush.” In this paragraph, Ana has indeed recited it twice. There’s no need to point out that she’s reciting it. It’s as if the author doesn’t think that her readers will get the meaning of the repetitive sentences.

“I realize I’m biting my lip, and I hope Kate doesn’t notice. But she seems absorbed in her transcription.”
““I’d like to bite that lip,” he whispers darkly. Oh my. I am completely unaware that I am chewing my bottom lip.”
Ana’s character irritates me to no end. We all know she has a habit of biting her lips. Why mention it a thousand times?

““Miss Steele. What a pleasant surprise.” His gaze is unwavering and intense. Holy crap.
“Half an hour later, Christian Grey walks into our suite. Holy Crap!
““You’ve interviewed me once already, and I can recollect some quite probing questions then.” He smirks at me. Holy shit.
And that cursing goes on and on and on.

I felt as if I was reading a badly written fanfiction and apparently, I was! It was written by E.L. James, a.k.a Snowqueens Icedragon, a die hard TWILIGHT fanatic. It’s a fanfiction that was based on the Twilight saga. All she did was change the names of the characters and publish it. I tolerated Twilight, even read until the third book but I can’t tolerate this one. I cannot believe this surpassed the Harry Potter books sold. WHAT HAS BECOME OF THIS WORLD?

I wish the author explored Christian’s inner demons in a way that is reminiscent of Dorian Gray. Maybe if she did, the story would have slightly improve but she did not. Disappointing.

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5 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Never Again!

      • You are so funny, lol. I actually sttared to read the book, and managed to go through about 40- 50 pages and put it away. (Luckily, it wasn’t even my book) xD And since I am kinda spoiler girl, I decided to visit some forums so I found out what this book is all about. God, I couldn’t believe this was a bestseller. And I can’t believe that people are actually fussed up about this. You made some hilarious comments during your reading. Instant like for your video xD

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