Have I ever told you guys how much I hate hipsters? No? Well, let me tell you this story about a girl minding her own business in the streets of Chicago. One wonderful day, with the wind softly blowing and the warm sun shining, you would think that the day would go swimmingly well. But no, a Cary Grant, vintage glasses and oxford wearing impersonator with that perfectly coiffed hair and impeccable suit decided to ride a rundown bike in the intersection fast like he was making sure people don’t start noticing him and deciding that riding a bike during the winter is cool (which it’s not). This of course, results in an accidental foot hit and run which he does not even apologize for, ruining the day of the said girl.
Now with the Lollapalooza single-day tickets selling like hotcakes, I just know fucking hipsters were the reason for the 30 minute wait time before I finally got off the standby page and went on to the ticket page. I’ve never felt more scared that I won’t get tickets. Hipsters should just stay at home. I’ll even lend them my vinyl record player.
(Okay, I have a lot of hipster friends and I do love them.. Until they annoy me and then I just want to cut out all their plaid shirts and give them “not skinny” jeans.)